Random Rambles: On Writing and Creating

I’m nursing a really bad headache as I sat in bed. I’d just read a post that had thousands of claps on Medium, and I’m wondering what my next post would be about.

“Why am I writing? I’m not even good,” mind wonders for the thousandth time.

I write because I enjoy it. I enjoy seeing words form. On paper, on screen, seeming to flow out of my fingertips. Like magic. So I write. Without any formal training, the way the words sound in my head is my only guiding principle.

As usual, the pain seems to be based in a nerve at the back of my head, to the left of where skull meets neck. The pain pulses and extends its tentacles to touch my left brow.

It started innocently enough, just tight neck and shoulders. Then it turned into a pain in my neck that made itself known in my gums through some unknown mechanism. I used my trusty massager, fell asleep trying to write, and woke up with this headache. I need to take a couple of Advils, but I don’t get out of bed.

The need to write overpowers the need to stop the pain. I’d been experiencing some form of writer’s constipation. Can I call it that? Can I refer myself as a writer? Oh yes, you bet I can, and I’m doing that. I’ve been doing that for a while in my head, ever since I came across this article that scolded me for not owning my writing.

I hope you don’t mind me rambling here. You see, the trouble with a blog is, I’ve been trying so hard to make it “professional” that I’d become too careful about adding my voice into it, especially if I don’t have something worth saying. In fact, this little post may not see the light of day.

I’m sure I’m not the only one with a blog who feels this way. After all, a blog needs a theme and a structure. It’s not an outlet for rambles. Wait. Says who?

Says critical, un-fun and logical self.

Am I writing in my blog for myself, or an audience? The blogger with great blogging tips told me I should aim to write for 1 ideal reader. Can that reader be me? If I told you that I’m writing for myself, dear reader, would you still read what I wrote?

Can you really write for yourself? Sometimes, the words feel like they write themselves. At this moment, they are writing themselves. What if they have a life of their own and I’m their instrument? What if the universe writes through me? Would I be writing for myself? Or the universe?

Ah, those lofty whimsical ideas.

After all, what writers write is what comes out of their minds, and what comes out of their minds is what they perceive from the environment. Yes, the universe writes though all of us.

Who am I, anyway? I’m just like you, my dear reader. With problems and headaches and lazy days. When I write for myself, I write for you. If I can make you feel understood, my work here is done. If not, I have a piece that worked for me and that’s it. So yes, I will post a ramble once in a while – if I think it’s worth your time to read.

My laptop flashes the low battery sign, so I get out of bed to charge my laptop. My head thuds dully with every step.

So my dear readers. It turned out I had something worthy to say after all. In other words…

#1: Find something you’d do even when you feel like someone has dug a dirty finger into the back of the left side of your head and is pulling at a nerve. I’d have turned around to show him what I wrote if he was real.

#2: Keep doing it even if your judge-y voice says you suck.

#3: Own the thing you enjoy doing. Whether you’re a sculptor, painter, programmer, knitter, or a home-cook. Own your craft even if you’re not there yet. Own it, then work on getting there. A bad craftsperson is still a craftsperson, but a bad craftsperson can get better. Get the lack of confidence out of the way, then you can focus entirely on honing the craft.

#4: Allow yourself the space to be creative, and allow yourself to ramble/create without boundaries. Maybe you’ll come up with something like this post, which may not be good, but is oh-so-soothing to my soul. Despite the fact that the pressure in my head makes me feel like throwing up.

#5: Think of yourself as the instrument of the universe. Universe expressing herself through us – that’s art. Create what comes to you for yourself, that’s all we can do. It’s only through sharing your creation that you may be able to offer some value for someone else. So share your work.

#6: Last but not least, remember we share more things in common than we realize. Our hopes and dreams, fears and worries aren’t that different. The happiness I feel is the same as yours! When we create for ourselves, there’ll be someone else who appreciates it. As long as we mean no harm or disrespect, we have nothing to worry about.

There, there. I hope you’ve enjoyed my rambles. Now that this is done, I shall take a couple of Advils and wait for the pain to subside.

Have a good day, dear reader. And I hope you’ll do the thing you’d do even with a bad headache.