2020: Re-Focusing On Life With New Year Resolutions

It’s the beginning of a new decade! Did you have a good celebration over the holidays? If you overate, as I did, that’s good! It’s a sign we have friends and family to celebrate with! It’s back to work now, and I’ve spent some time thinking about 2020. More specifically, new year resolutions and plans.

I actually ended 2019 disappointed in myself. My year was good, life has been very good to me as usual. In comparison, I haven’t done justice to what I’ve been given. I failed, to be honest. But hey, our failures teach us what not to do in life, don’t they? What matters is we learn from them. Negativity has no home on Dark Blue Journal!

I’ve picked myself up since. Here’s to a new beginning! Cheers!

Resolutions

I was on Twitter talking to some of you about resolutions, and it seems that many people feel having “goals” may make the endeavor feel more positive than having “resolutions”. It makes sense! After all, there are nuances to words that affect how we react to them.

However, regardless of what words you use: resolutions, goals, intentions, wishes or something else, I think the purpose is the same.

Giving a name to these things is a way to help us focus when we’re amidst this bustling world. It allows us to contemplate where we are at the moment and what we hope to achieve, thereby providing an anchor from which we can get our priorities right, then work on them.

And there’s a sense of hope when we have a target to move toward, isn’t there? Whatever your stand on hopes and targets are, I wish you a peaceful life. But if you’re thinking about what you hope to achieve in 2020, here are some tips I found.

Tips for making resolutions stick

The definition of resolution is “a firm decision to do or not do something”. I’m typically a resolution-breaker because I forget them by February, but I do have resolutions this year. I mean… we have to have a target right? Otherwise, we won’t know where to shoot!

Don’ts

According to this New York Times article, most people fail at their resolutions for one of these main reasons:

• The resolution isn’t based on what you want to change. Don’t choose trendy resolutions or an influencer’s resolution. Make sure it comes from you.
• It’s not clear enough
• You lack a realistic plan

Make sure you don’t make these mistakes!

Do’s

Have SMART Objectives:

• Specific – Don’t be vague. Have clear numbers and actions about what you want to achieve.
• Measurable – Keeping track of your progress will make the process more rewarding.
• Achievable – Setting the bar too high sets you up for frustration!
• Relevant – Make sure it’s what you want.
• Time-bound – Give yourself enough time to achieve them.

Have a community: You can also find a community to make yourself accountable for your resolutions. Seek out people with similar resolutions to work together with, and move away from people who you know will only hold you back.

Have compassion: Also, allow yourself space to slip up (it’s bound to happen) and be kind to yourself! Don’t take it so seriously, make the process fun. What’s the use of achieving resolutions if you were miserable the whole time?

Break your targets into small achievable segments: This’ll make the process less daunting, more rewarding, and more manageable.

Don’t compare your life/progress with someone else’s: Or you may get discouraged/swayed/distracted by what they have.

Focus on your life and your progress: Keep your attention on your target, or you’ll never hit it. And if you can’t hit it, have patience. Sometimes we just need time and practice. If you find your target changing, by all means, adjust your plans!

Good luck and take it easy!

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My Resolutions

Yes, I’m holding myself accountable by making it a “public commitment”. In 2019, I come to realize belatedly that what I put attention on grows. I guess I’ve always known it, but I never registered it.

This year, I’m going to make it my focus. Our attention is limited, we better make sure we use it on things that matter! I’ll have to come up with realistic plans to achieve the following.

#1 Self-Acceptance

After almost 30 years of feeling inadequate, inadequacy has become an overarching theme in my life. What a waste of my attention! So my first resolution for 2020 is to accept myself the way I am and to stop beating myself up every day as I tend to do. I was miserable and this has to stop!

I’m not changing anything about myself unless it’s a trait or habit that hurts me – in this case, self-deprecation. My social awkwardness, indecisiveness, ignorance, spaciness, underachievement and every flaw about my behavior and physical appearance shall be accepted and loved unconditionally.

Ah, this is going to be difficult and may take a lifetime, but it’ll be the best thing I do for myself.

#2 Keep life simple and lower my carbon footprint, waste creation, and plastic use

This is my #climateaction. Climate action need not be complicated or elaborate. It’s all in the way we live our lives.

I’m so glad that minimalism fits nicely in line with my passion for the environment. This year, the simplification of my life continues, and I’ll focus on keeping my carbon footprint and single-use-plastic use as low as I can. I’ll also be writing about our climate crisis as much as I can.

Is there something you wish to learn about the climate crisis? Let me know!

#3 Keep writing

That would manifest in regular posts here on DBJ, on Medium and fixing my NaNoWriMo draft.

Yes, I’ve got the story done but my story is only 30,000 words long since I halved the challenge. While it’s not good enough to get published, I want to polish it to send a message to myself that I can finish a novella. It’s also a learning process that hopefully leads me to a novel one day. One day.

#4 Make money off of doing what I enjoy

I haven’t figure out what to focus on, but it’ll either be writing-related or craft-related. This is actually what I’ve been trying this year, but a combination of fear and lack of motivation “delayed” the progress. See, I’m trying to be positive already!

To make this measurable, and achievable. The target for the first quarter is $150. Yeah, I’m not ambitious. I can’t afford to discourage myself!

#5 Incorporate more mindfulness into my life

These days, I love mindfulness almost as much as minimalism. Mindfulness made me see that what I put my attention on gets stronger. I’m going to bank on it to improve the quality of my life and mind.

• Cut down social media: No social media notifications on my phone, and no checking of social media accounts in the first hour of the day.
• Reduce multitasking: Focus on one task at a time, because that’s really all our brains can do. When we multitask, we’re just switching back and forth between tasks.
• Gratitude practice: Take an hour every Saturday to give thanks for events of the week.

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Ah, it turned out that my resolutions are simple! Though simple doesn’t mean easy. I’m not sure if I can achieve them, and if I do, it may take more than a year. Maybe it’ll be a decade long endeavor, but now is as good a time as any to start, isn’t it?

Did you set any resolutions for the new year? It may not be something you like to do, but I love it as a way to reflect on life and think about what I want to do with it.

This year, I’m going to make this my mantra: what you put your attention on grows stronger. I’ve overlooked that for so long and ended up feeding the monster, it’s time to keep my attention on what matters to me!

If you set resolutions, let me know what they are! If you don’t, do share your reasons too!