The End of My Gratitude Journal Experiment: Week 6 And My Conclusion

This is the last of my gratitude journal entries on my blog – an experiment to see if it gets me more in touch with happiness. You can read more about how to do a gratitude journal here.

For each entry, I write 3 to 5 things that made me feel grateful during the week. Since I write my posts a week ahead of time, this post is outdated when it’s published!

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Lessons learned at the expense of someone’s feelings

I used to speak without thinking things through, especially when I’m mad. As I got older, I became more aware of how what I say can hurt, and hurting people hurts me too! So these days I try to be careful with my words. It’s not easy since I don’t always know what I can and can’t say. Naturally, I slip up every now and then.

Unfortunately, that’s what I did this week. There were some discussions regarding a Medium policy and I made a comment that hurt a writer. She replied to clarify the misunderstanding and I realized that I got the wrong idea about her!

Guilt-ridden, I messaged her privately to apologize. She’s was nice and said it’s fine.

The entire thing reminded me to watch my words ever closer on the internet. Sometimes we say critical things without knowing someone’s intention, and people get hurt from these comments. When a hundred people pipe in with similar comments, it’s very overwhelming.

It is true that we are entitled to an opinion, but if that opinion isn’t kind, perhaps it’s best to keep it to ourselves. After all, we don’t know the entire story.

Then again, if I didn’t make the comment, I wouldn’t have known that I misunderstood her. And I’ll probably still be assuming things about her, which is wrong too. That’s my second lesson, stop forming unwarranted judgments about people!

I still feel sorry for hurting her. However, I’m grateful for the valuable lessons and her understanding. May I learn to become a better human.

Thanksgiving

I had a lovely Thanksgiving at Anth’s cousin’s place. I like them a lot because they’re genuine and kind folks. Every time they hosted a party, they prepare a delicious spread of good food and drinks – yup, they’re generous too. What’s more, Anth’s cousin makes the best cocktails. The Thanksgiving cocktail was a bourbon with ginger beer and apple butter. It’s delicious!

I’m the only Asian there, but they’ve never made me feel that way. They’ve always made me feel included and they’ll talk to me. The same is true with Anth’s other relatives.

The only problem is actually my mediocre ability to carry conversations so I’m usually quiet in situations like that. I simply don’t know what to say. I was never good at socializing, not even with relatives back home. They don’t seem to mind though.

So I know, I’m very lucky. I’m very grateful for Anth’s family and relatives for treating me like one of them. See, there are plenty of good people in this world.

Space heater

Due to some leaky walls, our room is a lot colder than the rest of the house. So when it gets cold, we use a space heater. Guess what, it broke. Well, the plug burnt. I think we’re super lucky it burnt when we were awake so we could unplug it right away.

Unfortunately, that meant we’ll have to spend! As if my phone breaking wasn’t bad enough. Good news on that end, I have a new phone on its way to me!

Without the heater, we have to wear two sweaters in our room and sleep under 4 blankets at night. I thought it’s not unlike sleeping outdoors, except we have a comfortable bed and warm blankets. It actually feels good too.

Experiencing the cold makes me thankful for warmth and the space heater that protected us from the cold. I’m thankful for the roof over us so we’re not exposed to the elements. Without these things, life would be a lot harder.

Surprisingly, I’m also thankful for the cold. You know how they say you don’t know the value of light if you never knew darkness? I think we never truly understand the value of warmth if we never felt cold. Although this is not Siberia or deep winter cold, it’s cold enough!

Besides, I love the indescribably refreshing quality about natural cold air that air-conditioning just can’t beat. This week, I’m grateful for both warmth and cold.

Pepper the Cat

Anth’s mom and I were cleaning up the front yard. It may sound weird, but I had a good time because I love the excuse to be out in the cold. Besides, I get to do some constructive exercise without getting scorched by the sun. I’m really not a fan of exercising, but I’m not averse to raking, shoveling, walking, and swimming. Go figure!

Anyway, when we were done with the yard, we drop by our neighbor’s, who also happens to be relatives, to check out their Christmas decor – they had been in the front yard decoring. When they came out to say “hi”, Pepper the cat slipped out of the door too! I’m pretty sure my face lit up. That was the moment I realize that I’ll always be a cat lady.

It was a real treat because I haven’t seen him in months. I squatted down and stretched out my relaxed hand, he was distracted by something in the street, but he came to me and head-bumped my outstretched hand. I gave him a scratch briefly before he wandered off. Needless to say, I went home happy.

Yup, I’m thankful I got to say hi to Pepper the cat.

Having Clyde around

Clyde is Anth’s brother’s dog. He’s a very handsome border collie-german shepherd mix who’s really expressive and fluffy.

I give him a little chunk of banana every morning, and a little belly rub every now and then. It’s funny, even though I’m doing the giving, I’m also receiving a lot of love and joy. I don’t really understand how it works, but seeing him enjoy his treat and belly rubs make me very happy. Like heart-bursting happy.

Even just saying hi to him in the morning and petting his head makes me smile. I know I’ve said this before, but having a dog or a cat (or where your soft spot lies) is good for mental wellbeing. I feel so much love when I meet these animals. They make me feel warm and fuzzy and appreciative of being alive.

So, thank you Clyde, for making my days so much sweeter and full of love.

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Conclusion

I hope you’ve enjoyed my gratitude journal experiment! I thought it’ll be a breeze to do it, but it was surprisingly difficult at times. There are a lot of things I’m thankful for – a clear day, a nice comment, clean water, good food. The difficult part is diving into each item fully to create a coherent post. However, it’s precisely being specific about each item that makes us think about the role each item plays in our life.

At the beginning of the experiment, I thought that keeping a gratitude journal simply reminds us of what we have in life and what’s important. I wasn’t sure why I’d want to do that when I already have that kind of attitude.

The biggest lesson from my experiment

Now I realized it’s more than that. By doing the gratitude journal once a week for 6 weeks, we’re also laying the foundations for a habit. It forces you to sit down, contemplate the events of the week, and process the events through your gratitude lens. By diving into the details of each item, you’re putting a lot more focus into them. I think that’s what’s important.

It’s kind of like going to the gym once a week for 6 weeks and training hard each time. You’re not going to get fit right away, but it warms up your muscles just enough to get things going. In this case, it’s an attitude of gratitude. I thought I’ve always had that attitude, but now it feels more present, more tangible.

With time, this muscle would waste away like every muscle that isn’t used, so I better make sure I keep this going in some ways. Either as a weekly meditation, a weekly status update or a weekly entry in the physical journal I still keep.

So…

If you feel a little down and out, maybe it’ll be a good idea to do this exercise too. Take several hours out of each Saturday (or whichever day you prefer), write down 3 to 5 things you’re grateful for, and do it for 6 weeks. Be sure to think about each item slowly and thoroughly.

Maybe you’ll feel the same in the end. In that case, there’s no harm done. But there’s a chance you’ll feel the way I do at this moment – like your gratitude muscle got a little bit stronger… And you feel a tendency to process the events of your week through the gratitude lens.

That may make all the difference.

What are your thoughts about the gratitude journal? Do you think it works? Did it work for you? Let me know!