Why You Are Your Biggest Enemy Until You Accept Yourself Fully

You know how we sometimes have that person in our life who is always quick to judge our actions? The one who is discouraging whenever we did something? I have one in my life.

Every time I get indecisive, she goes “you’re stupid”. Every time I attempt to create something, she’d be like “I don’t think you’re good enough”. When Anth’s mom told me his cousins like me, she went, “gee what’s there to like?”. When I try to socialize, she goes “you’re making everyone awkward.”

“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” Those are her favorite words for me.

She lives in my head.

Most of us have someone like that in our heads, someone who tries to make us feel like a failure. I’ve been trying to get her to shut up. It didn’t work.

I believe the voice was born because I didn’t accept myself the way I am. If I did, she would never have had a hold over me. The voice was a product of my lack of self-acceptance, not the other way around.

How do I accept myself fully?

I think the key is to keep the understanding of this beautiful creation in mind. In a previous post where I explained what “life expresses through us” meant, I mentioned each of us as an expression of life.

Which meant that, if you love life, you should love yourself and everyone around you.

Whenever I remind myself how we’re really expressions of life, I remember that everything around me contributed to how I think and make decisions. I am not a product of my own doing. I am a product of life, I should love and respect myself the way I love and respect life.

My flaws are not my fault. Take my severe indecisiveness for example, it’s the result of a sensitive and careful personality type interacting with an environment with too many stimulation. Wait, is it still a flaw? Or just how things work?

I’m awkward around people because I’m a reserved introvert who don’t do well with small talks, but talk to me about your passion and I would keep up my end of the conversation. How did we end up expecting ourselves to work the same way as everyone else?

Warm air meets cold air on a flat terrain, and a hurricane is formed. Is that a flaw in the weather system?

No, it’s the result of interaction between air with different densities. It’s a phenomenon.

Just like that, the concept of “flaws” melts away.

Am I advocating that everyone who are rude accept that about themselves? In fact, people are rude because they have issues. People who are angry at everything tend to be most angry at themselves. We’re kind of like mirrors in that sense.

Yes, I think we should accept everything about ourselves, even if we can’t help being rude. Just be prepared for the world to bounce “rude” back at you if you’re rude. If you’re okay with that, by all means, be rude. If not, practice restrain. *winks* Acceptance is not resignation.

So, my biggest enemy is me. She’s a result of me not accepting myself. By the same logic, to accept myself I would have to accept her too, since she’s part of me. You know what, from now on, every time she speaks, I’ll remind myself about this post.

I think she’s going to become a friendly voice.